Because of WinnDixie
by IceCrome
Summary: Paper or Plastic? ContestShipping


_For some reason, I'm really starting to like ContestShipping, and I'm not too keen on _why, _however, I find it cool because I don't have to make Drew an ass-he already is! _

_© Satoshi Taijiri, T.V. Tokyo_

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Tap.

Tap.

Tap.

At the ripe age of twenty-one, May McCardahan was hopelessly and utterly failing at life. Her high-school diploma firmly tacked up at home on her wall was the only thing in her life that she could say 'gee, I don't actually suck _that _bad'.

But, alas, that was the only thing that she had to her name-plus, a small apartment near 30 Rock with some furniture. And her kitten, Snuggle. Other than that, zilch.

And working at 'god's waiting room' wasn't really helping her at all. Winn-Dixie was _so _not where she imagined herself as a little girl. No, what she wanted to do was be an astronaut, and then a pirate, then a ninja, and finally, at the young age of sixteen, be a fashion designer.

'But no!' God said. 'No, you'll be working at a Winn-Dixie, second to none in the food surplus world'.

God, May hated her life.

"May!" Her head snapped over to the voice, and it belonged to her boss (ugh) Harley. Her extremely effeminate boss (who, for some odd reason, was straight) had some sort of Vendetta against her. Ever since he offered her a 'cookie of joining', to which she said 'meh' at the quality, he had been pushing her to quit, or at least kill herself. Whichever one was first, he honestly didn't care.

"Yes, what _is it_, O humble overlord?" She narrowed her eyes at her boss, and continued to tap her fingernails on the counter.

"I need you to re-stock the Yogurt. And drop the sarcasm, or I'll have you fired." She rolled her eyes, obviously knowing that he would threaten her with being jobless. However, this had happened a multitude of times, and therefore, she did not care anymore. Besides, everyone and their grandmother knew that May was the best employee there, which honestly wasn't saying much.

"Can't you get Drew to do it? I mean, the boy needs some damn discipline." May shuddered at Drew's name, because the boy had a tendency to make every girl either turn into a rabid fangirl of his, a stalker of his, or a sworn enemy.

May was in the sworn enemy minority.

"_Language. _And you need discipline too. Just go stock the goddamn yogurt. I'm not asking you to run around New York five bloody times. Now go." May sighed, and spit out her gum. She brushed her way to the yogurt and dairy aisle, heaving a box in her arms that Harley had given her.

She grumbled, and gave Drew the death glare as he saw him chatting up Caitlin, the girl that worked in Lane 4.

"Stuck up son-of-a-bitch…" She muttered under her lips, and made her way to the back of the store, the box balanced on her hip. The store was like a ghost town, which seemed a bit ironic, having New York be one of the more populous cities in the U.S.A.

After stocking up the yogurt, she continued to wander around the ghost town of a store. She headed back to her 'post', and waited to get off of her shift, so she could go home, dig into some Ben and Jerry's, and watch various things on television.

"Why _hello. _I see that Harley's got you working overtime again." She looked over her shoulder, and narrowed her eyes at Drew. Although her immediate disdain for him allowed her to turn her head around, mumbling 'stupid annoying a-hole', her curiosity to the word 'overtime' made her head turn around.

"Wait. _What._" She hissed, only somebody with a uterus and ovaries could do. Drew shuddered at her hiss, and nearly ran for his life, if it wasn't for his love for taunting her.

"Yeah, he gave Dawn a break because her grandma died or something."

"Her _grandma _died? Her grandma died _three years ago._ She's just saying that because she had a date with Jun tonight!"

"Tough tacos. Besides, it's only an hour or so. And, conveniently, _I'm _working overtime also!" Drew smiled a smile that always made a little part of May die inside.

She threw the closest object she could find as his head.

"Conceited asshole. Look, if you could do me a favor, the spices are getting low. Could you please, for the love of Christ, just re-stock them?" He saluted her.

"Right away, ma'am."

* * *

After a grueling session of re-stocking something and dealing with an elderly customer who only carried change in her pocket (Seriously? _Seriously?!_) May finally managed to have 'me time' and started texting to Dawn. May was a 'Grammar Nazi' as proclaimed by Dawn, and used correct grammar and spelling when texting. Dawn, however, did not, much to her aggravation.

So what're you wearing for Jun tonight? If it's that freaking black dress then I'm going to murder you in your sleep.

**Lol, no. It's the grn 1. U no, the 1 that goes down 2 my mid-thigh? OMG he's gnna freeeeeeeak. **

I'm sorry; I was too distracted with the 'clawing my eyes out' thing to actually notice what you were saying.

**G, thnx.**

I'm kidding. Nice pick, if I do say so myself. So where're you going? If it's anywhere fancy, then I will shake my head and say 'no'.

**LOL, no. It's just a csul Italian plce. He wuz leik, 'OMG, u have 2 see this new place ovr by my apt. it's soooo good!' mayb not n those exact words, but somewhr close.**

Great for you, you backstabber. I got stuck with Drew and Harley again! It would've been nice if you held it off until Saturday, but no. You were all 'LOL I have to see him NOW'. I feel alone.

**:( I'm srry. Mayb u and Lebowski cn double date w/ me n Jun-chan!**

Firstly, stop with the pet name in Japanese. Just call him 'Junny-poo'. Secondly, no way, no how, never in a million years. If he was the last man on earth and I was the last woman on earth, and we had to have sex simply for procreation, I still wouldn't have sex with him!

**OK, I get ur point. But, rmembr that 1 time at Paul's Uncle's cabin when u 2 danced? OMG I saw SPARKS!**

No, that was the PCP somebody slipped into your mojito.

**Well, mybe, but still! I saw sparks! Like, srsly, y do u hate him so much?**

That's like asking an Atheist why they hate Jesus. They just do. I just hate Drew because he's a conceited asshole who needs to go hide in a hole. That's going to be tough, though, considering he's already in the closet.

**I'm sorry; Dawn can't come to the phone because she's currently being de-flowered.**

May looked at her phone and glared, and quickly speed-dialed Dawn.

"Jun you S.O.B, get your freaking hands off of Dawn or I swear to god I will go over to your apartment and rip you a new asshole." May hissed quietly into her cell phone. She could feel Jun tensing up.

"Alright, May. Yeesh. But no promises on tomorrow."

"Agreed. She needs to get laid. But! You lay a finger on her tonight and so help me god I will rip off your testicle and shove it down your throat." She turned off her phone, and figured that they would start making out soon, so there was no point in texting Dawn if she wouldn't get a reply. She glanced over at Drew, who gave a mock-flirting wave. She rolled her eyes.

'_Honestly, just because he's attractive doesn't necessarily mean that all girls have to be putty in his hands. Although he has nice hair. And cute eyes. Dammit May, shut the hell _up._' _

"May, you and Drew go clean up Aisle 9; looks like some kid got into the cat litter. Again."

"What the frick, this happens like every other week, you think you'd just put it in some glass casing or something now, right?" Harley glared at her.

"Now, May. Drew, stop talking to Caitlin and get your ass to work."

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"Well this is just fan-flippin-tastic." May said, as she dipped the mop in more water.

"Aw, c'mon May. It's not that bad." Drew said, leaning on his mop, giving her a flirty smile. She 'ughed', and rolled her eyes.

"Not that bad for you, maybe. I don't even know why Caitlin likes you so much. She's kindof a slut. She wears too much eye makeup. After a while it's like you're looking at a clown or something."

Drew gave an odd sound that sounded like he was agreeing. May turned around, and gave him an odd look.

"Tell me something, May. Since we're going to be here awhile, I've a couple questions for you. Will you mind answering them?" May pursed her lips, and shrugged.

"Why not?"

She dipped her mop back in the water, and slathered it back down on the floor.

"Alright, why do you hate me so much? I've done nothing to you personally, and yet my mere presence seems to annoy you beyond belief."

"Because you're a tool, you do that annoying flippy-thing with your hair; you act like a complete douchebag, and you tease me. I don't like to be teased, okay. I went through it enough in Middle School that I would prefer it if I didn't go through it again." He blinked.

"Mind me asking about Middle School, or is that too private to discuss?" She turned her head around, and gave him an icy glare.

"Take a guess."

"Alright, alright. Another question. Do you have a boyfriend?" May snorted, an obvious attempt that he was trying to flirt with her.

"No, but I had one. Ash used to be with me for a month or so, but then we just weren't really into each other. He's with my friend Misty now."

"Ah…I understand." Drew turned around, and pulled out a rose from abso-_freaking_-lutley nowhere. He handed it to May, who was, for lack of better word, speechless and dumbfounded.

"…Thanks? Gee, you're being oddly nice. Do you have cancer? Are you having a stroke? Seriously Drew, this is just creepy." Nevertheless, she took the rose, and put it behind her ear, since hell, where else were you going to put a rose?

"Well, okay. Are you _sure _you're feeling okay?" He nodded, and gave her a flirty smile. She shook her head. But, as if a bomb went off, something ticked.

He _stole _the rose.

It was obvious, as when she was heading back to her post, she noticed something…off when passing the floral aisle. One of the roses was missing from a small bouquet.

"_You stole this?_ What the hell, man! Harley's gonna have a hissy fit if he finds out!" Drew got…aggravatingly close.

'_Save me Peewee Herman! I don't want to be raped!'_

"That's because he _won't find out_." His nose touched hers, and May blushed.

"I do have a rape whistle. My dad bought it for me." Drew kissed her on the lips, and May had no freaking idea what to do. Kiss him back? No…she hated (?) him. Kick him in the balls? That was always a viable option.

Viable, yes. But she didn't want Harley riding her ass because she hurt Drew and therefore had to apologize.

So, she let him go. Honestly, he wasn't that bad a kisser. Soon, she found herself unconsciously leaning in. Well, if he had the balls to kiss her that was worth a few points.

Before both pulled away due to lack of oxygen, Drew had put his hand in his back pocket and grabbed another rose.

"What is with you, you Klepto? God, Winnona Ryder is going to be envious of you."

"Ha-ha. Now, we have to clean up this cat litter before Harley castrates me and spays you."

"Right. Cat litter. M'kay."

"So I take it you don't have such a burning desire to kill me now, right?" May gave a crooked smile and wagged her finger.

"Not quite yet. But I'm getting there." She kissed him on the cheek. "I guess that I just needed a little persuasion. You aren't that bad. But you're not off the hook yet. Stop acting like a total douchebag and then you'll earn my trust."

"Noted. Now, let's clean up this litter and go make-out in the storage closet." She grabbed his shirt.

"Your words, not mine."

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**OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG MAY U DIDN'T!**

Yes. Against my better judgment.

**U DO realize wat this means, rite?**

…No?

**DOUBLE DATE!**

…

Shit.

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_Da dun da!_

_Hellz yeah._


End file.
